The last two days have been extremely powerful. Steiner Bryn has an ability to bring people softly into conversation with each other. It’s sort of like putting a frog in a pot of water and slowly turning up the heat until the water is boiling. On our first day in the dialogue seminar, we discussed the goals of the program and how to do dialogue. Steiner feels strongly that dialogue is the key to understanding another person. Debate, discussion, and negotiation can only take people so far, but dialogue is an experience that causes people to change. We started with short introductions in small groups and then moved to larger groups. It was really nothing serious. We all knew why we are here. Most of the participants come from places that have been ravaged by guerrilla war and segregation. The rest of us have our own problems in the States because of problems associated with immigration and the three major conflicts we are currently engaged in. For the most part, we didn’t go there. We also had a lecture on the role of religion in our lives. The Norwegians take religion very personally. It’s a private matter that is not easy to talk about. We were forced to break that boundary and share what religion means to us. For some reason, this was a very difficult thing for me. Even though I only had to talk to two other people, I felt awkward talking about such a hot topic that is truly a private matter for me. Our final session of the day was a trip to the Olympic ski jump. Norway hosted the Olympics in 1994, and the ski jump still stands. We started at the top and walked our way down the hundreds of stairs next to the jump. The view was impeccable.
Yesterday was a little more serious than the first day. We learned more about Nansen, the man whose name became famous in Norway and became the name of the academy where we are meeting. We then tested our abilities to engage in dialogue when the subject of the conversation is more serious. We talked about conflicts in our countries. This had the potential to turn into a debate rather quickly, and I was afraid that people were going to ask me about the conflicts in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Libya. I usually avoid those topics because I do not have a strong opinion about them. I am a Soldier. I go where I am told to go, but I do not have hard feelings about Arabs or anything like that. My group focused on repatriation of Serbs into Kosovo. I saw before my eyes the concept of parallel truths come out as a Bosnian Serb and Kosovo Albanian argued about what is causing Kosovo Serbs to avoid coming back. They were both right, and yet it is easy to say that one has to be wrong. We finished the day with some free time in Lillehammer and then a barbeque at Steiner’s house.
I expected that my trip to Lillehammer would bring closure to my time in Kosovo. I left my mission in Kosovo with a deep sense of unfinished business. I felt like I didn’t accomplish anything substantial. Yes, my team was one of the busiest in KFOR, but as far as progress on rebuilding Kosovo, I felt like we didn’t do anything. Ethnic conflicts are difficult to the outsider. I as a foreigner do not understand what is holding Serbs and Albanians back from reconciliation. I will never completely understand. So my response to their conflict is one of impatience and insensitivity. I admit that I had moments of misunderstanding while I was in Kosovo. I wanted action, either positive or negative. Soldiers are not trained to deal with the long process of peacekeeping. They are used to being busy. That’s the problem with combat troops. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, “I just don’t understand why they don’t just get along already. It’s so childish.” Maybe this misunderstanding followed me home to North Dakota. I started the deployment with a sense that maybe this rotation would be the one that brings peace to Kosovo. And when we didn’t accomplish that goal, I was disappointed.
So when I boarded the plane to Norway, my expectation was to just see some positive work being done with people from Kosovo. If I met just two people from opposing sides who could see eye to eye, then maybe I could close the book on Kosovo and move on to more important matters.
That was not at all my experience. Every spare chance I get, I ask the three people from Kosovo as many questions as I can. I ask about construction projects that were unfinished when I left. I ask about their vacations to the Albanian coast, the food they eat, the clothes they wear. And I find myself getting really excited when they share new things or bring insight into the questions that I never got answered while I was there. Whether I want to close the book on Kosovo and the Balkans as a whole, I can’t. The Balkans is in my blood.
Other people are beginning to notice as well. One student from Holland told me that I really need to do something with the Balkans because she can tell I speak very fondly and personally about the place. Another person has told me that somehow I’ve been given an opportunity as a student and a soldier to understand Kosovo in a way almost nobody could. He told me that I need to do something about this. I’m not sure what that particular thing is, but I have a strong feeling that I will be back to the Balkans sooner than I previously thought.
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